Tuesday, June 28, 2005

I'm doing all this for what?!?!?!

I don't know if I always wanted to be an educator, I highly doubt it. I had too many goals set for myself as a kid to really know where it was I wanted to end up. Even today, my mind is still swimming with fresh ideas of different things I'd like to do with my life.
If I had the time, and energy, I'd still want to one day be a marketing consultant, an interior designer, a writer, a makeup artist, and the list goes on.
Like my husband says, "Some of it might just have to wait until next lifetime!"
So I think the teacher bug hit me the first time I spoke in public. I was thrilled to see that I had the audience eating out of my hand, and I discovered that I had a pretty great personality that really shone when I gave over some ideas I was passionate about. Eventually, that led to me wanting to become a teacher.
So I applied to a million schools. It was tough. I never dreamed it could be so hard to get a teaching position. I spent a year applying, going to interviews, subbing, and coming home for a good cry.
My husband, ever the supportive one, thought I was nuts.
Let me explain something to you before I go further.
My husband is a hedge fund manager. He is totally and completely business minded. He does not, cannot, and will not ever understand why a person like me wants to teach. As many times as I explain to him that the profession of an educator is not one that takes a business mind, he doesn't understand what it means to work for something you really believe in. To work for something you believe is special, to work for something that requires more heart than anything else.
Knowing this, you can see why my better half thought teaching was a waste of time.Anyway, after a year of perspiration, dealing with some strange people, subbing classes of bratty 12 year olds, I was offered a fantastic position as a seventh grade teacher in a prominent school.
I signed the contract without batting an eyelash.I'm getting paid less than minimal wage. I'm getting six thousand bucks for a whole year of preparation, controlling teenagers, and working at home until way past midnight.The truth is, in my community, that's what a first year teacher gets paid. It's shameful, I know. But the raises every year are more than nice, and besides, I'm not doing it for the money (although getting paid would be nice), I'm a teacher with heart.
It's at time like this when I'm looking back a couple of months, that I can actually agree with my husband, (and don't you DARE tell him I said this!) I must be nuts!

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