Saturday, April 22, 2006

Depression

Ok, it's the last night of Pesach vacation. My co and I are arguing over who is more depressed.
Pesach was long, and it was the best thing for my frazzled nerves. I relaxed, ate matzah, slept, ate matzah, enjoyed myself, at matzah, and basically, ate more matzah. Notice that I did not mention anything about school in all of this.
I had to get two emergency fix-ups in my mouth. I needed a root canal after all, and then I needed to finish up my other botch-ups. I still have to go back, and let's hope that'll be the end of dentists for a very long time.
I met a bunch of students over vacation. They all seemed thrilled to see me, except for T.K. of course.
I spent some time looking through the review sheets the girls had given me hell over, and they didn't do so bad. It was the "attitude" cases that didn't bother to fill in a word. Namely T.K., C.K., and S.G.L. R.R. was pretty bad too. I have zero patience coming back to school.
I cannot go into class tomorrow and pick up where I left off. I already made up my mind to forget about chapter ten in history. I'm not going to give their sheets back, and I won't make an issue of it. I will give them a lot more homework in their books though. They are totally not comfortable with reading a textbook. That has to change.
I don't believe that I will finish my curriculum in history this year. Whether it's my fault for going too slow at the beginning of the year, or the school's fault for assigning too much, it doesn't matter. It's not getting done. I refuse to feel guilty for all of it. $6,000 isn't near enough money to guilt me into a nervous breakdown.
Literature? Forget about it. If I ever finish this Early Thunder piece, I will have to make a seudas hoda'ah. I'm not even aiming to get any other literature done. I just want to get this off my head.
And the picture book? You know how I feel about that!
My co told me that at this time of the year the kids have no patience either. I'm still a kid myself, I know that better than anyone. I need to give them more homework though. Journal entries, spelling definitions, history questions...they have to become more responsible.
What is it? 8 weeks left to school? I should just start a countdown on this blog. I'm more excited for summer vaca than the kids are.
And a new job? I'm more than just depressed. I have no idea how to get a new teaching job, where I want to go teach, and when I'm going to have time to pursue it all. I want to get another seventh grade job because I really don't want to prepare all over again. I know that being picky isn't a good thing, but it worked for me last year.
If any of my readers have connections with a good girl's school out there that's not chassidish, pays decent, and treats their teachers well, can you please recommend me? I'm davening hard and keeping my fingers crossed.

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